Mud & laughs: Guide to Diddly Squat Farm Shop
Where Jeremy Clarkson Reigns Supreme (and the Sheep Might Judge You)
You’ve binge-watched Clarkson’s Farm, memorized Kaleb’s catchphrases, and dreamt of escaping the supermarket sprawl for rolling Cotswolds hills. Well, buckle up, because you’re about to embark on a pilgrimage to the holy land of Diddly Squat itself!
First things first: It isn’t your average farmyard frolic. Diddly Squat Farm Shop is the real deal, run by the man himself, Jeremy Clarkson (although, let’s be honest, you’ll probably see more of Lisa Hogan keeping things ship-shape). It’s a gloriously muddy, hilariously chaotic, and surprisingly delightful adventure into the world of British agriculture, Clarkson-style.
What to expect? Queues. Glorious, epic queues. Be prepared to bond with your fellow pilgrims, swap Clarkson quips, and maybe even break out into a chorus of “Feed the Sheep!” while you inch towards the shop. Embrace it! It’s all part of the Diddly Squat charm.
Now, the goodies! The shop itself is a treasure trove of Clarkson-approved delights. Think honey made by bees Jeremy probably swore at, chutney fiercer than his temper after a flat tire, and beef so marbled it practically winks at you. Don’t forget the Hawkstone Lager, Jeremy’s own liquid tribute to questionable farm machinery. Just remember, moderation is key – your wallet and digestive system will thank you later.
Beyond the shop, the farmyard beckons. Peek at the sheep Jeremy may or may not have insulted that morning, marvel at the tractors that have miraculously avoided Jeremy’s wrath, and snap a selfie by the iconic Diddly Squat sign (just don’t block the queue!).
Pro-tips for your Diddly Squat pilgrimage:
Go midweek if you value your sanity (and speedy entry). Weekends are Clarkson-level bonkers.
Wear wellies. It’s a farm, people. Embrace the mud!
Pack your patience and sense of humor. Things might get a little…Diddly Squat-y.
Leave the city snobbery at home. This is a place for muddy boots and hearty laughs, not designer heels and cucumber sandwiches.
So, is Diddly Squat Farm Shop worth the hype?
Absolutely! It’s a unique, and surprisingly heartwarming experience. You’ll come away with bags of goodies, memories to last a lifetime, and a newfound appreciation for the simple pleasures of farm life.
Just remember, it’s not for the faint of heart. But if you’re up for a bit of adventure, a lot of laughs, and a healthy dose of Clarkson-esque mayhem, then Diddly Squat Farm Shop is calling your name. Just don’t blame me if you end up quoting Jeremy for weeks on end. You’ve been warned!
If you’ve enjoyed this – why not check out our list of top 14 things to do in the Cotswolds, for more ideas.
P.S. Don’t forget to tag us in your Diddly Squat adventures! I’m dying to see your muddy selfies and Clarkson-inspired captions.
